This article goes out to all the hardcore crews. First off, thank you for taking the time to read this. Secondly, go fuck yourselves. Spare me the sight of seeing all you mongoloids in your flat brimmed hats, neon colored Osiris' and your Adidas shorts ruining my fucking shows. Actually, I feel bad about comparing you to mongoloids, because they can't help it. You make a conscious effort to act like a fucking tool. You swing your tiny little fists around and spasm back and forth, destroying whoever you can in the process. Who are you trying to hit? God, for making you the pathetic piece of shit you are? It's not enough that we give you space in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CROWD to act like assclowns. You still continue to go wherever there are people trying to avoid you. You're like a small child that has to constantly run up and show a parent how special they are. 'LOOK MOMMY! DID YA SEE ME OVER THERE WITH MY FRIENDS? DID YA SEE ME PUNCHING THE AIR? I HIT THAT AIR HARD, HUH?' 'Yes son, you hit the air very hard. You're doing a great job.' No matter how we try to stay the fuck away from you, you keep coming back to show us what progress you're making on your high kicking skills. I mean, let's identify your scene for what it really is. A cry for attention. A sad, pathetic, equivalent to cutting yourself.
And god forbid we try to stop you. I've heard of the 'raised fist' method of hardcore kid protection, I've used it, and it doesn't fucking work. A stationary raised fist will do nothing to protect you from a kick to the face or a fist to the ribs. You just don't care who you hit or whether or not they want to be hit. Men. Women. People in wheelchairs (I saw this happen, but that's a story for another time). They are all just notches on your fist swinging bed post. When our raised fist fails us, we decide that we're going to actually say something to you. What we don't know is that you hardcore kids are like the music scene's equivalent of the Human Centipede. We think we're just dealing with one of you, but surprise surprise, here come a whole bunch of you, attached ass to mouth. A civil discussion with you and your friends (at least in my experience) is not possible. Everyone's ready to throwdown. And then when we as a metal community decide that we're ready to throwdown as well, then we're not showing respect for your music or culture, and you cry foul. I can't help but think of high school when I think of you. You hardcore kids are, in my opinion, the jocks at the high school of metal. Flexing your muscles and kicking anyone's ass for no other reason than because there's enough of you that you can. Well keep me the fuck out of it. Do us all a favor. Stay in the hundred yard area that any show seems to give you, and keep your stupidity to your fucking selves.
I actually laughed out loud numerous times reading over this article. Well put Choops, well put... Look for more posts from Choops in the future.