Thursday, November 11, 2010

Album Review: Oceano - Contagion




So, as you may know, Oceano's new album, Contagion, came out recently. I decided to listen to it when I got home, and I can now say that I am a changed man.  Oh, and that's not a good thing.  Right after I finished listening to the whole thing, start to finish, I turned off the computer, put a gun up to my head, and blew a fucking hole in my head.  Granted I survived, but my fucking god I wish I hadn't.  This album isn't just bad, or even terrible; it's a motherfucking abomination. Holy shit, if I could take every minute of the time spent listening to that album, I would do something much less torturous instead, like rolling around in hot coals or chopping off my dick or something. 
           
Oceano's biggest mistake in making this musical abortion is that they tried way too hard to make it sound like their last album, Depths.  And if they didn't ,well fuck, it sure as hell seemed that way.  To start with, every song sounds exactly the same, (chugging riff, growls, breakdown, chugging riff, another breakdown, repeat like five times).  Seriously, I can't even keep track of how many breakdowns there are, and they aren't even good!  The opening song basically sums up what the entire album sounds like, and here's the link:


Notice the complete lack of talent and musical ability.  I mean, it's pretty fucking apparent right?  Oh yeah, and if for some reason your grotesquely mistaken self liked this one, then try listening to it another dozen times, because that's what's going to happen when you listen to the rest of the album.  What sucks even more is that I thought their previous album was pretty decent, despite it being a perfect example of generic deathcore.  This album only opened my eyes to how little fucking talent these guys actually have.  I guess that's the one positive thing that came out of listening to that garbage.

Herp durr... we <3 breakdowns

Well Oceano can learn quite a bit from this album, besides the fact that they suck and should be castrated.  One is that breakdowns do not make a fucking song.  I could probably count the times their guitarist used the top three strings on one hand, and that's terrible.  Another is that you should never make an album sound like one you previously released.  What's the point of putting out a new album if it sounds exactly like the one you put out two years ago?  And lastly, when you have a vocalist that can do nothing but growls, then its time to get a new vocalist. 

So, for my first album review of hopefully many to come, on a scale of 0 to 10, I give Contagion by Oceano a 1.5, which on my scale is really, really bad.  I'm actually impressed that I was able to get through the whole thing without vomiting out my asshole, and if you can do the same, then you deserve a fucking medal.  Until next time, this is Dingus hoping that you never ever have to suffer through this waste of time and energy.

1.5/10

2 comments:

  1. suck a dick...oceano's sick.

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  2. My old band opened for these guys and Born of Osiris last year, and they're seriously one of the worst live bands I've ever seen. The vocalist's growls cracked nonstop, and all they did was chug and jump up and down like they were trying to hold in a piss. It just about put me to sleep

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