Monday, November 8, 2010

I'm Cursed. The Worst Band I've Heard From Long Island May Have More in Common With Forrest Gump Than They Imagine

Oh Metalsucks, you are such a double edged blade. On one hand, you generously gave us a good deal of readers, and I regularly check your site for the latest in metal news. On the other hand however, you sometimes introduce me to some of the worst bands I have ever heard, such as these guys.

If you followed the link don't let your eyes play tricks on you, these guys actually label themselves as "gumpcore." Unsurprisingly they play a horrible mix of grind and slamming deathcore, full with "Bree Bree's" and samples from Forrest Gump. What the fuck. I understand the irony in playing Forrest Gump samples when most bands in your genre are sampling horror movies and snuff films, but honestly how long can you pull this shit off? It might be funny for one song, but to base an entire band around this concept is bound to fail. Especially if your music is shitty. Which it is.

Even worse, these guys are from Long Island. I think I might be cursed, because it seems shitty bands somehow follow me wherever I go. New Jersey doesn't have any metal scene outside of terrible deathcore and Waking the Cadaver, and now it seems the awful trend is following me to the Long Island area. Sigh... Oh well, check out the band if you'd like to hear the musical stylings Little Chocolate, Forrest, Indiana Jonas, Bobby, and John Ocean-O'Connor. And if you really want to get mad watch the video embedded on their myspace, full of pathetic hardcore dancers who seem unsure of when it's appropriate to dance. Thanks a lot Long Island, keep the good stuff coming!

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