Thursday, February 10, 2011

Avoid This Tour

This is why America can't have nice things

Y'know what? I think I'm actually gonna make this whole "don't go to this tour" thing an actual featured segment, like Shit Hardcore Kids Wish They Could Play and Fucked Up Album Cover of the Day. Making decisions on a whim is fun, it's how I do it every time.

So anywho, Carnifex and Oceano are going on tour this coming April and May, and if that wasn't enough to deter you from going, they're also bringing The Tony Danza Blah Blah No One Cares and Within the Ruins. Like with most of the other tours to avoid that we've announced, I actually like a couple of the bands, in this case Carnifex and Within the Ruins, but for the most part the cons far outweigh the pros and I personally will be avoiding it like the plague. But still, we've announced far shittier tours so I'll at least have the decency to put up the tour dates. Here you go fellas.

3/31 Hollywood, CA @ The Whisky
4/1 Tempe, AZ @ Underground
4/2 Albuquerque, NM @ Fusion Factory
4/3 Oklahoma City, OK @ The Conservatory
4/4 Kansas City, MO @ El Torreon
4/6 St Paul, MN @ Station 4
4/7 Milwaukee, WI @ Miramar Theatre
4/8 Chicago, IL @ Mojoe’s
4/9 Toledo, OH @ The Jamboree
4/10 Indianapolis, IN @ Emerson Theatre
4/11 Grand Rapids, MI @ MXTP
4/12 London, ON @ Call The Office
4/13 Toronto, ON @ Annex Wreckroom
4/14 Montreal, QC @ Underworld
4/15 Quebec City, QC @ L'Octobre
4/16 Worcester, MA @ New England Metal & Hardcore Fest
4/17 Springfield, VA @ Jaxx
4/18 Raleigh, NC @ The Brewery
4/19 Charleston, SC @ The Oasis
4/20 St Petersburg @ The State Theatre
4/21 Ft Lauderdale, FL @ Rocketown
4/23 Douglasville, GA @ The 7 Venue
4/27 Cleveland, OH @ Peabody's
4/28 Buffalo, NY @ Mohawk Place
4/29 East Rutherford, NJ @ Bamboozle
5/1 Louisville, KY @ Expo Five
5/2 St Louis, MO @ Fubar
5/3 Tulsa, OK @ Marquee Theatre
5/6 Fort Worth, TX @ TomCats West
5/7 San Antonio, TX @ White Rabbit
5/10 Salt Lake City, UT @ The Complex
5/11 Reno, NV @ The Alley

Obviously a tour like this is going to attract swarms of dancers, so if you're going I assume it's because you're either going to stand in the back the whole time or are just tough enough to take them all on at once. If so, power to ya. I personally tend to just not go to shows like this, because that way I just don't have to deal with them; that's my weapon of choice in the rebellion. But hey, I have an idea, maybe someone should go just so they can kick as many asses as they can and then email us the story at Think about it, it'd be a pretty entertaining article to put up. Just throwing that out there. Stay tuned and stay brutal.



  1. My friend asked me to see Bring Me the Horizon with him...and of course I said I'd rather hit my dick with a hammer. Now, after a few days of letting it sink in, I called him up and said I was going. Have no fear! I have my reasons...First off the girl to guy ratio is going to be exponentially higher then the usual shows that I go to and since I have a soft spot for scene girls...well I figure that I could be macking on chicks/gettin' numbers WHILE making fun of BMTH and showing the kitties what a real pit is...I will also be rocking my Goatwhore shirt that says "Who Needs A God When You've Got Satan" \m/

  2. "I'd rather hit my dick with a hammer" hahahahahaha. That's gonna be on the back of a Mosh Rebellion shirt under a picture of a dancer one day

  3. Yo I have that goatwhore shit. It rules!